Getting married just a month shy of 21 is a scary thought for some. Getting married at any age for that matter. I had a lot of opinions thrown my way and sadly they were mainly negative views on the idea of marriage. I hear divorcee’s say things along the lines of their spouse giving up, getting lazy, not doing the things he/she once did, stopped caring etc. As humans we are habitual of routine and sticking to what we know. It’s easy to get into a repetitive cycle and do the same things every day.
It’s important to care enough about yourself and to never stop growing as an individual. Chances are, if you are growing as a person, your relationship will as well. Self growth is huge, single or married. But having someone to support you, push you, critique you, and love you is very encouraging. Marrying your spouse doesn’t mean you lose yourself. That is crucial to remember. I have the freedom to be who I want to be, and believe in the things I feel strongly about. It’s not about agreeing on every single thing or having the same hobbies. It’s about acceptance and support. Sure, the more shared views, hobbies and desires are great but it’s more meaningful to love the other person no matter what.
Sharing an unconditional love is empowering.
I always want to be treated as an individual and view my partner as his own individual. I want to be respected for who I am, as much as I want to respect and know his mind. I love that he is passionate about things that I find no interest in. I get to see him be excited, teach me along the way, and see him grow. The things we do share a liking for are ways we can connect and create a special bond over.
If you define yourself solely on your marriage and becoming one with another human being, it will make things tough. It’s important to remember you are two different people, with different upbringings and perspectives. With that in mind, respecting one another will come easier.
In a marriage, we still get to be ourselves.